


The Therapist's Chair

by Insectopedia



Series: Elves Don't like Change [1]
Category: Lazy Town, LazyTown
Genre: Comedy, Dysphoria, M/M, Maybe more later..., Oral Sex, Overcompensation, Transmale, Vaginal Penetration, cursing, i'm not good at tagging stuff, porn with a bit of plot, wtf I don't know how to tag this just read it I guess???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:32:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9411482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insectopedia/pseuds/Insectopedia
Summary: Sportacus, although an honest man, has two secrets. Both of which he hides under his clothes.Aka: that one fic where Sportacus is a transman and the reason why he has so many muscles is because he overcompensates.





	1. Prologue

It’s in the mornings, when the clouds swirl around a sky tinted in sunrise, that Sportacus is reminded of the reasons why he doesn’t change into his pajamas. Or, take off any of his clothes, when he can help it. But, when dawn comes and he’s filled with the urge to scrub the previous day’s sweat off of himself it’s unavoidable. If he could, he would skip his morning showers and turn them into every other morning showers, but he knows that’s impossible and instead does what he can to avoid looking at himself. Often, he keeps his eyes glued to one corner of the white tiled room while he’s showering with such intensity that one could guess a miracle was being performed there. And, when he cuts off the running water, he makes sure not to rub the condensation off of the small steamed up mirror. Occasionally, however, there is that rare moment when he’s not filled with anxiety and he is overcome with a small bit of determination. Its on those rare occasions that he clears the mirror and slides his eyes down his body, hungrily daring it to disappoint him. It always does. Even when his eyes take fleeting glances or he’s looking at a side angle-where all he sees is a flat chest and muscles-he’s bound to notice the scars. Or his eyes drift down just a bit lower than his belly button and he’s reminded that, for all the healthy skin and rippling muscles, he’s still inadequate. It’s arguably better to just keep the mirrors covered and his eyes fixed on a meaningless corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, as the title states, this is just the prologue. I would have smashed this with the rest of the piece but, in the upcoming chapters, the narration style is a lot more active so this didn't quite mesh.
> 
> Expect upcoming chapters to be ALOT longer and filled with more smut ;^)
> 
> Oh, also, last thing I want to address is that there will probably be a sequel or two to this. I have a few more ideas I would like to play around with that match this headcannon but considering this is more of a drabble then anything else this is going to be taking a back seat to my more serious pieces. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


	2. Two, Not Just One But Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we get to the plot.
> 
> (Robbie Rotten scheme is unveiled and Sportacus makes a decision to stop hiding.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is the same note that was originally on chapter 1 but it looked nasty because the prologue was so short so I moved it,,, )
> 
> HECK I've had this idea in my head for a long ass time but I didn't think I would ever actually post it. Then I saw how everyone was making transrobbie head canons and... as much as I love those I think people are forgetting how extra Sportacus can be and how much facial hair he's lacking...
> 
> Long story short this is my way of introducing a new head canon to the fandom and allowing myself to (finally) write porn of these two lazydads and have them cuss with out worrying about it fitting the mood of the piece.
> 
> If you're expecting something really serious or deeply intertwined with plot this might not be the piece for you. I do have a bit of plot (simply because I'm one of those people who need that) but, at the end of the day, i'm writing this for my own amusement.

The clock read half past three o’ clock when Robbie Rotten sprung out of his chair-letting popcorn fly everywhere as he held up a finger in triumph.

“AHA!” the exclamation rippled brightly on his happy face and across his spacious lair, “I know just the thing to get that Sportakook out of town!”

The idea had come to him idly, as he sulked in remembrance of all his failed schemes. It had come when he thought about Dr.Rottenstein and how it had almost worked if not for the purple polkadotted paper trail. He was mulling over possible ideas he could have used to perfect the plot when he realized it was simple-get rid of the paper trail. All he had to do was make an illness no one could see. A… mental illness!

And once more (he pondered while rubbing his hands together with his shoulders hunching in excitement) he would be able to know all of their secrets if he was disguised as a mental health professional! Not only could he tell them to do anything he wanted and they would just have to listen but if it turned out anything like he hoped it would then he would also know their deepest secrets and scariests fears. That way, if somehow this all fell apart (which Robbie doubted) he would still be able to throw Sportapest out of town by using those against him. It was perfect, genius, unsurpassable!

“It’s disguise time”, he smirked as he sashayed up the catwalk to his beloved disguise machine. And then, he started his usual ritual. The first outfit was… the one he was wearing right at that very moment! Lovingly kissing the cold glass he looked at his beautiful pinstripe outfit before seeing the smudge his lips left. His face crinkled in disgust as he used his sleeve to noisily wipe it off before moving to the next one. Too smelly, too runny, too dummy he stated as he passed a perfume saleswomen, a tracksuit, and a test dummy outfit often used for testing cars (why he had that, he had no clue). Then he saw it, the outfit that was The One. It was a simple purple suit, not too flashy but clearly classy, with some pens and pencils sticking out of the jacket pocket. It even came with a crisp pair of glasses. “Flawless!” ,he shouted in joy-this outfit definitely wouldn’t fail him!

After spinning it on with a few dramatic piano notes he shakily climbed out of his silo and into town where he heard the kids (and Sportacus) playing on the playground. He hid behind a small wall, waiting for the opportune moment which came when carrot sticks (his name might have started with a p) tripped while playing soccer and Sportacus, along with the others, knelt down to talk to him.

 

“Video games can harm you?!” The kid exclaimed, causing Robbie to tune in and wake up from his half dozing state. He jostled and peaked up to watch.

 

“Yes” the sports-elf said seriously with a nod, “Too much screen time can make your mind not function as well.”

 

Suddenly, before another syllable could be uttered, Robbie Rotten sprung up with a genial “Did I hear someone say their mind wasn’t functioning well?”

Everyone twirled around, light shock meeting the cheesy grin on Robbie’s features as the graceless man quickly pushed his way into their little ring to continue before anyone could correct him, “Ahh you do look like you aren’t in tiptop shape!”

 

To which the kid’s face contorted into one of pure panic he looked like he was about to shout before the little pink one interrupted with a salty, “And who are you?”

 

He scoffed and spun around, straightening with a hand on his chest in indignation before saying in a shocked voice, “Who am I? WHO AM I? You guys need me more than you think if you don’t know _who_ I am!”

 

He puffed out a breath before sticking out his hand to the young girl and giving her a wormy smile, “I am Dr. Roobie, a Psychiatrist with a PHD in problem listening!”

 

“What's a psychiatrist” the youngest kid inquired

 

Dr. Roobie swirled to him, acting like the posterchild of patience as he leaned down and explained, “Why, i’m a doctor of course! A doctor for your brain”

 

He poked the little blonde in the forehead, maybe a bit too harshly judging by how he winced and whined, before turning to stand over all of them.

 

“I listen to your problems, your fears, your secrets and tell you how to treat them, just like a normal doctor would poke and prod at your body to see if everything is working correctly.”

 

The kids ooed and awed at that while Sportacus, as Robbie saw from the corner of his eye, perked up a bit (if that was even possible for the hyper vigilant hero).

 

“Now, who’s first” Robbie practically sneered (whoops it looks like his patience wasn’t never ending).

 

The first was obviously the gadget freak who had fallen before. Robbie took him over to a bench away from the others (who were buzzing with excitement as the two left) and sat him down then prompted him to talk. Carrot sticks mumbled a bit and began to drone on about things of little importance but, eventually, he was done and Robbie told him that more video games would cure him-along with some soda. At first he seemed shocked but Robbie was a _psychiatrist_ now meaning that the kid didn’t argue-or well, when he tried to Robbie asked if he should tell Sportacus one of his boring little secrets to which the little carrot clamped shut with fear.

That was the pattern the rest of his little therapy sessions took. It was monotonous. The kids would ramble (some of them more then others, tricky had to actually be told to shut up since she was taking so much time confessing all the naughty things she had done) and then shut up when Robbie told them that they better eat more junk food and run outside less or else Sportacus would hear their secrets. Although, to be honest, Robbie wasn’t really taking notes. He was more focused on what Sportacus’ fears were to genuinely pay attention to the brats. After all, it was such a tantalizing thought. What if his secrets were really bad? Really big? Could Robbie replicate his fears? What could possibly make that man shake and shiver?

When it was finally for Sportacus turn, Robbie was almost gyrating with excitement. He finally had his nemesis in his clutches.

 

“Come now Sportaslo-cus! It’s time for you to tell me your fears- I mean troubles!” ,the villain corrected himself gleefully, practically bouncing up and down as he called the shorter man over.

 

However, the elf looked slightly less enthusiastic about it now. Originally he had been encouraging of the idea, saying that it was good for everyone to make sure their minds were as good as their bodies but now, when he was in the spotlight, he wasn’t so sure.

 

“My mind works just as well as my body” he said, to cover up his worries. To which the kids and the psychiatrist groaned. It was a cheap cop out, yes, but Sportacus chest was buzzing with just enough anxiety to let it slip out.

 

However, Ziggy eventually piped up “But Sportacus! How can you be sure are you a psychiatrist?” ,and that was when Sportacus knew he wouldn’t be able to simply brush this off

 

“No…” Sportacus replied opening his mouth to say something more (even though he knew it was pointless) but then Stephanie interjected, “Well then you should go try it!”

 

A chorus of agreements and slight giggles followed her statement and Sportacus had no choice but to walk over to the psychiatrist. Although, he wasn’t necessarily sure it was such a bad idea now that he was getting a closer look at ‘Dr. Roobie’. Up close the doctor looked a lot like Robbie Rotten, something he hadn’t really noticed before due to being caught up in his own thoughts, but now that he was paying attention he was certain that yes, this was indeed the town villain. Which only begged the question, what would Robbie want to dress up as a psychiatrist for? What was he telling the children?

Robbie, on the other hand, who had been close to loosing his cool straightened up with a bright yet rotten smile at the kids who ‘saved’ the situation and only smiled brighter when the elf followed him to the bench. He was so caught up in the euphoria at finally being able to most definitely get rid of the superhero that he didn’t notice the odd looks the man in question was giving him.

However, his mood did a 360 when they both sat down. He felt nervous. He shouldn’t have, he had done this 5 times already but this time it was important. He had to make sure he did this right. Taking out his notepad and a pen he hunched over and smoothed out his nerves before turning to the elf-who was looking thoughtfully off at some trees and prompting in a confident voice, “Alright Sport, tell me, what is your biggest fear?”

 

“My biggest fear” the elf replied (to which robbie nodded so hard his head looked like it might fall off), “I don’t have any fears.”

 

Robbie deflated, his face going pale as he looked at the elf. Was he lying? No no he would never lie so… huffing angrily he sat up, his mind whirling with a way to fix the situation as he lifted up his pen with a devious, “ah!”

 

“What about your biggest secret!” 

 

Sportacus blinked at the “psychiatrist” and opened his mouth to say something. Then he closed it and blinked again, as if thinking something over.

Time passed in silence thick in anticipation and Robbie was just about to explode at the man for taking so long when, finally, the other man leaned towards him, cupping his mouth with one hand, causing Robbie's already anxiously fast heart to beat faster-and practically stop-when he heard the hero whisper, “I have two”

Robbies eyes were wide and as Sportacus leaned back the villain let loose a breathe he hadn’t realized he was holding. Two. Oh my god, it was like christmas; the elf had two secrets (not just one but two). Blinking a few times, to knock himself out of reverie Robbie then realized that simply saying he had two secrets didn’t answer his question. Whipping around with his eyebrows drawn in irritation, the tall man opened his mouth to shout a few choice words but before he could Sportacus interrupted with a, “But I don’t want to tell them here.”

Standing up Sportacus brushed his hands off by rubbing them together “Dr.Roobie, if you could meet me at 8:09 tonight in the park I think I could tell you.”

Robbie jumped up, his notepad flinging out of his hand-forgotten. “8:09? Why can’t you just tell me now sportakook!” He was so angry, his face red with it, that he didn’t even notice the name mixup.

Sportacus put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder a knowing and patient smile on his face as he said, “I need some time to gather up the courage.”

Robbie stopped shaking with that and gradually relaxed, “Ah” he backtracked, “I see, well, usually that’d cost you extra but I guess I can clear time out of my busy schedule to do it for free”

And then there was a smile that seemed to shine brighter than the sun. “Thank you Dr.Roobie!” Sportacus gleamed before quickly backflipping away. 

  
That dumb elf. 8:09 couldn’t come sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is next chapter (obviously).  
> I'll try to post it (and the last chapter) sometime next week!
> 
> I apologize if anything is awkward or hard to follow, again this piece is just for fun so i'm more focused on getting the idea out as opposed to the mechanics of the piece.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Rockin' hot bod'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus reveals what's under his clothes.

Sportacus had known that the mysterious psychiatrist had been Robbie Rotten. His disguises, although beautifully crafted and usually delivered wonderfully never fooled the elf (at least not for too long). He usually just played along because the kids thought it was fun or because he wanted them to learn not to trust every stranger that passed by. 

Still he had decided to tell him his secrets to make the burden on himself a little easier to bear. That seemed like a silly thought coming from such a confident young man but, as he was so fond of telling the kids, everyone had their moments of weakness. The best cure for that? Talking to someone about it. Only... Sportacus’ troubles and fears weren’t something he could easily talk about. The kids were too young to be troubled by such things and, to be blunt, Sportacus didn’t feel like Meanswell or Busybody would understand. Meanswell would be sympathetic, yes, but then it’d be awkward and over all pointless since the aging mayor probably wouldn’t know what to do. Busybody would be the same only instead of being quiet and fumbling she’d phone the president and soon everyone would know exactly what Sportacus was. He didn’t wish to be labeled like that.

At the end of the day, he usually got by with the thought that his troubles weren’t really troubling, they weren’t issues or flaws simply a different facet of himself that most people couldn’t relate to. But sometimes, his thoughts wandered and he thought: What if someone knew? 

As embarrassing as it was, at this point in his musings Sportacus would usually think of Robbie. Not because he too was a little different or because he probably didn’t care about the troubles Sportacus would present but because Sportacus knew there would be comfort in the way Robbie would take it. Robbie wouldn’t treat him any differently, he wouldn’t be awkward about it and he probably could give some good advice about a few of his issues. And, well, there might have been another reason why Sportacus wanted Robbie to know but that was usually when he’d tell his thoughts to stop wandering and get back on track.  Still, actually telling the villain what was happening was something he didn’t think would actually happen until Robbie had showed up practically  _ asking  _ for answers. Not exactly but, well, let's just say Sportacus wasn’t completely ignorant to opportunities when they arose.

That is why he now stood, a few minutes passed his bedtime, in town square with only the lights of the streetlamps and his airship to illuminate the area. That is why he waited until the almost silent scuffling of the villain neared and ‘Dr. Roobie’ appeared with a purple nylon briefcase and a twinkle in his eye that Sportacus wasn’t sure would last. 

“Ah yes! It’s 8:09 now which means you should be able to tell me your secrets right?” The ‘psychiatrist’ practically wiggled.

Sportacus nodded (a bit stiffer than he meant to) and paced back to his ladder where he grabbed a wrung, “Yes, if you could come to my air ship i’d be willing to share”

There was indignation and… something else, something unidentifiable on the other man’s features to which Sportacus felt the need to add in a quieter tone, “I just don’t want anyone to overhear”

The sport’s elf watched as that brief moment of indignation persisted before diminishing into the other man’s slightly too pale features. There was resolution in Robbie's face as he gave a single nod and walked up to Sportacus. Putting the briefcase in the elf’s hand he lightly shoved Sportacus out of the way with a “I can’t climb with this in my hand and since  _ you’re _ the one who wants to go up here you’re going to have to. I’ll go first.”

Robbie then put his foot on a wrung, and then another, and then almost to the third but his foot was shaking. By the fifth wrung his throat was completely hard, struggling was a swallow and he wasn’t even a twelfth of the way up the ladder- Sportacus hadn’t even gotten enough room to start climbing yet!! Robbie grunted slightly and determination to best his nemesis momentarily gave him what he needed to climb up at a normal pace but by halfway up the ladder the breeze reminded him of where he was and oh gods oh gods what was he doing, he could fall at any minute! He reminded himself that he needed answer, that he needed to finish his scheme and he needed Sportacus to leave! That was enough to help Robbie climb after he tightly shut his eyes. After what felt like an eternity passed, he finally crawled onto a metallic platform, barely able to stand up straight due to his nerves. Sportacus saw this and tried to put a hand on the other man’s hip but Robbie rudely declined it in a fashion that almost made him fall off of the platform.

When they were finally sealed into the ship Robbie gasped, doubling over with exhaustion at the surprisingly large amount of exercise and the adrenaline left over from being up so high. His heart was thrumming in his ears so he didn’t quite hear Sportacus shuffling but he did see the glass of water handed to him which he pushed aside (like he’d ever drink that) and he looked at the elf over the tops of his fake glasses with a winded, “this is gonna cost you extra”.

Sportacus laughed at that and sat down on a crisp white bed that had extended itself from the wall. Robbie, internally scoffing at the lack of chairs, looked around to see there was indeed one (equally white) chair but apparently that’s all the elf had to offer. Sitting down with a huff he recollected himself.

Clearing his throat with a genuine cough, Robbie then looked up at the elf, suddenly invigorated with the possibilities and leaned forward, straight to business, “So tell me Sporta-Sportacus, what are your secrets”

Sportacus looked blankly at him for a moment. Not the blankness that came with stupidity or ignorance but the pale stillness of uncertainty Robbie practically squirmed in response, this was obviously going to be a good secret.

Clearing his throat the sports elf asked, “Can I-Can I just show you?”

Robbie raised an eyebrow at the proposition and stutter on the normally perfect hero’s voice.

The elf continued, “It’s easier if I do it’s… kinda hard to explain.”

Robbie licked his lips and nodded heavily he was too excited to use his words, his words which never failed him.

Sportacus cleared his throat again and then moved his hand up to… up to his hat while his head tipped ever so slightly down and away from the ‘psychiatrist’ his eyes hadn’t been on Robbie but now he looked through his lashes at him-hesitating-before taking off his hat.

Golden locks, curlier then Robbie could ever imagine, sprung from the blue cap. Sportacus shook his head once, holding his hat in one tight hand which he settled protectively on his lap while the other moved to wrack through his hair. Still not making eye contact, the sports elf waited for a reply on his secret which was… what his hair color?

“You’re a blonde?” Robbie proclaimed dumbly.

“No” Sportacus smiled, daring to meet his eyes, “Well I-I mean yes but no that’s not the secret it’s… it’s this”

Sportacus then moved one of his strong fingers to brush away some of those golden locks away from his ear. He was tilting his head so that robbie could see better-see the curved elongated tip which dignified either a deformity or something inhuman.

Robbies mouth was a tight o.

“So… you’re an elf?” Robbie gandered while the spark returned to his eyes. An elf, goddamn he should have known as he considered how ironic some of his nicknames were.

Straightening his back, Robbie felt a smirk spread onto his features before a small oh came from him and he took out his notepad. He had to keep up the act after all. Scribbling something nonsensical down, he mumbled a ‘very interesting’ before snapping it shut and returning his gaze to Sportacus.

“Very interesting but, you said you had two?” Robbie egged on, less a question and more of a sour demand. Being an elf wasn’t anything too special, Robbie wanted something juicier. Something that’d really hurt the hero if revealed.

However, Sportacus stopped in response. Deer in the headlights stopped, his face growing pale as his hands clenched slightly.

“Ah… yes.” Sportacus said, again avoiding eye contact (which was beginning to freak Robbie out, this man was usually so confident).

And then, he surprised the other man yet again by doing something equally unexpected--unclasping his jacket.

Robbie wanted to interrupt and ask the hell he was doing that for but he was too enthralled, too close to what he was searching for, to do so. He watched as the hero folded up his jacket neatly on the bed next to him and then placed his hands hesitantly on the hems of his shirt with an expression that almost asked Robbie for permission.

Robbie nodded, his mouth dry, his head blank except for with expectancy.

And then Sportacus took off his shirt. It was so quick that if Robbie had blinked he would have missed the arch of the elf’s back as his muscles flexed to remove the fabric. He would have missed his toned, tan, stomach stretching retracting as the white fabric moved up and up revealing two pale somethings stretching across the underside of Sportacus’ pecs. 

Robbie’s eyes crinkled at them. Were those scars? If so, why were they-oh

“Your trans?” Robbie blurted, looking with confusion up at the elf who’s cheeks were red and who was looking at him so intensely that it seemed like he wanted to shoot laser beams at his face.

The elf simply nodded.

Robbie found himself staring at the scars mouth slightly open as his mind whirled. To put his thoughts into one simple coherent phrase (which was objectively a hard task) he just didn’t know what to think. It was dumb and cliche bu,t goddamn, how do you react when your nemesis who’s Mr. Perfect, embodiment of the body builder’s dream, pulls up his shirt revealing a rockin' hot bod’ just to say he's trans.

And that’s when it hit him. There he was, Sportacus, in all his blue tan glory, sitting on his bed because he didn’t have two fucking chairs in his ship, shirtless with springy messy hair covering his forehead and a hearty red tint to his cheeks. Sportacus was half naked. In bed. Looking so intensely at Robbie. Waiting for him. Best of all he looked so  _ vulnerable _ his expression uncertain and his body language closed off. It was too... delicious to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip, sorry this took so long and that it doesn't actually have any smut in it. I know I said I would have it done quicker (and that it'd be nastier) but then I wrote TOO MUCH and I realized it needed to be split up. Luckily, I have the second part written already so it should be up with in the next hour (I just need to edit it slightly).  
> As always, thanks for reading!


	4. SPORTAPUSSY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie and Sportacus hook up.

Robbie gulped, a little intimidated by his own thoughts before he realized what he had to do. He couldn’t just… let this opportunity slip away, he had to do something about it.

“Can I… can I touch them?” Robbie asked, still staring at the scars (he didn’t want to see what Sportacus’ face looked like he couldn’t right that second, what, with his heart beating so fast). 

Robbie could tell by the flexing muscles in Sport’s neck that the elf nodded.

And that’s when Robbie pounced.

Moving silently with the grace of someone used to slinking around, Robbie Rotten slid off the simple white chair and padded over to Sportacus. All of his previous plans to turn this into an embarrassing moment for the elf deteriorated as he walked over to the sunkissed man with a gooey feeling in his ribs. He felt nauseous and not in the good I-just-ate-too-much-cake way but in the gods-what-am-I-doing kinda way. But he didn’t let that show. Instead, expertly, with seriousness he rarely used, he planted his foot on a particular launch pad and was hit in the face with an apple-effectively taking the glasses off his face and revealing himself to be Robbie Rotten.

Sportacus jumped at that, eyes wide with an exclamation of, “Robbie!!” that sounded less surprised and more concerned as Robbie Rotten Rubbed the side of his face and glared at the blue kangaroo.

“Oh shush up Sportaloon.” he grumbled, walking towards the now standing man so that they were only inches away from touching.

Now that Sportacus knew that he was Robbie how did he feel?

Robbie could hear the moment Sportacus stopped breathing, the other’s eyes going wide with self consciousness as Robbie stopped in front of him and then looked-his eyes obviously rolling down the other’s body to look at the ears, the scars, the abs-all of it that wasn’t clothed.

When he realized that, Sportacus was back to being defensive. Robbie snaked some fingers under Sportacus’ chin and forced the shorter man to look up at him.

He shouldn’t have been doing this, he knew that but, to be blunt, the moment Sportacus had taken off his jacket Robbie knew this night would have a different ending then he had preconceived. Looking down at Sportacus with those piercing eyes he lifted his other hand to ghost over sportacus’ cheek causing the elf to tighten even more (if that was even possible). “Wha-what are you doing?” 

“I said I wanted to touch didn’t I?” ,Robbie replied, hesitance in his voice even though he knew what he wanted. He cleared his throat, “I’m touching.”

Robbie leaned down ever so elegantly so that Sportacus’ sunkissed face was shadowed with Robbie’s proximity while his free hand went down those tight neck muscles and moved to ghost over the center of Sportacus’ chest. Then, firmly, he felt the textured scar that lay beneath the elf’s muscle with a slightly rough thumb. He watched Sportacus tightly shut his slightly parted lips, not with fear or worry but with something Robbie didn’t quiet want to put a name on-atleast not yet.

Then, almost as quickly, Sportacus mouth stretched open, a silent sort of sigh escaping him as his eyes fluttered closed. The reason? Robbie’s curiosity had gotten better of him and, with his free hand, he had let fingers crawl up to the other man’s too long ear.

Oh, well apparently the books he had read were right.

Gently touching the elf’s ear, Robbie smirked at the absurdity of it while his other hand moved to firmly grasp the scar and underside of Sportacus’ pectoral. The elf seemed to move into it. His head tilting into Robbie’s hand while his body began leaning forward.

Robbie bit his lip, unable to be unappreciative of the sight infront of him. Gods, he could even see slight freckles on the other man’s cheek bone. He never thought he’d care for freckles (and some part of him still screamed that he didn’t) but with the hot breath of Sportacus tickling his chin Robbie knew he could stare at them all day.

Sportacus was still leaning, Robbie still caressing him, when the all too dazed elf bumped slightly into the other man, his freckled cheek bone hitting slightly below Robbie’s collar bone. Startled, Sportacus pulled away slightly eyes wide with a sharp intake of surprised breathe as if he had been caught doing something bad. 

For a moment, Robbie thought that was the end of it. He had touched (more than he should have) and now Sportacus had snapped back to his senses. That was it. The end. But then, Sportacus surprised him by snaking an arm around his neck, shaky but still faster then Robbie could process, and just as fast was Sportacus pressed his needy lips onto Robbie’s dry ones. 

They kissed but that might not be the right word to describe it. Sportacus seemed to consume Robbie, his lips were needy wet and hot and Robbie could barely keep up with the pure unadulterated  _ want  _ that Sportacus radiated as he pressed against him. How long had he thought about this? Had he ever thought about it?

Robbie’s hands roughly cupped both of Sportacus's pecks, touching the sensitive scars, untouched skin, and small nipples present with a roughness produced as a response to their fevered kiss. The elf groaned, something low in the back of his throat that seemed to silence everything else in Robbies world-especially when Sportacus threaded his hand through Robbie’s hair, pulling him closer.

Sportacus backed them up onto the bed so that he fell onto it in a way that took Robbie, partially stooping, with him. In the moment that their kiss broke apart, that Robbie wasn’t fully on the bed, and that Sportacus looked at him, Robbie could see that his lips weren’t the only thing being consumed but the elf’s eyes were also deep into whatever they had gotten into. His pupils were blown wide and the half lidded look he was giving Robbie made the villain’s heart jump before buzzing like a jackhammer. Gods this was really happening wasn’t it?

Robbie opened his mouth to, perhaps, say something but the wind was stolen from him when Sportacus took ahold of the lappel of his Psychiatrist’s suit and pulled him a bit roughly towards him. Robbie found his knees planted on the bed between Sportacus’ legs, his arms supporting him on either side of the elf’s head and the two of them looking at each other. For a second Sport almost looked slightly worried that he was doing something wrong but Robbie just grinned and swooped down to plant a soft, tonguing, kiss on the elf’s lips before pulling away. Sportacus followed him for a second not sure why they were breaking apart and trying to prolong their kiss before he felt Robbie place another kiss to his neck. The elf stretched back eagerly, his chest rising in a silent praise of Robbie’s ingenuity and for a moment the inventor was reminded of just how vulnerable Sportacus was. With that thought in mind, he was merciless to the elf’s neck. He kissed it, of course, and licked but most of it was light biting and sucking which earned a few quick, hushed, gasps from Sportacus that the elf quickly tried to stifle with a fist. 

Robbies hands were roaming up and down the sides of his partner’s smaller but thicker torso as his lips moved down his clavicle to the cleft of his sternum, curling over to see where else he could go. 

Apparently the answer was wherever he wanted because as he dipped to his bellybutton, hesitating for a minute before deciding to move back up, Sportacus put a hand too quickly on Robbie’s head with a dazed, “N-no please…” 

The rest of whatever he was saying was taken away by his labored breath and although Robbie knew exactly what the elf wanted he tilted his head up, kissing next to his belly button with a rumbling, “Please?”

Sportacus was tense for a moment before he looked down at Robbie with cheeks so red they looked like they were purple and a quiet, “Robbie, can you… can you do that a little lower? If that’s alright with you?”

Robbie blinked at his round about way of asking, he had never seen Sportacus so hesitant in any other situation, but then a devilish smirk crawled onto his features as he leaned back, on the heels of his feet, “Only if you strip for me”

The red in Sportacus’ cheeks paled. Not enough that the blush was completely gone but enough to make his moustache twitch. Despite the hesitance, he licked his lips with an ‘alright’, a wry smile and in movements too fast for Robbie to fully process Sportacus acrobatically flung himself off the bed, turned Robbie around and only slowed to a speed the villain could process so that Robbie knew he was being pushed down into the bed, only slowed so that he could see the look in Sportacus’ eyes as he slowly used one hand to do so. Robbie could get used to that look.

When robbie was laying on the bed, a little breathless even though Sportacus was the one flipping about, Sportacus backed off and, while maintaining eye contact started to strip. His shirt was already off but, gods, those muscles. Robbie had always hated them because they showcased an arrogance Robbie couldn’t understand but in that moment, the way they flexed seemed like it was a gift. His arms were flexing almost wantonly as the elf sauntered around and looked at Robbie over his shoulder. A second ago he was shy but now He was unabashedly pulling down his pants in a way that made his ass pop over the top of them. And Robbie was eating it up, he was hypnotized by the slight sway of Sportacus hips and the intensity of his eyes. Robbies eyes swept over Sportacus’ form as the elf turned back to face him almost dancing as he did so. Then, Sportacus came up to straddle Robbie hovering right above the blossoming erection that he had all but forgotten about due to Sportacus mesmerizing movements. 

But, as if that wasn’t enough, Sportacus took his hands and put them on his hips-right at the top of his underwear. With his hands on top he helped Robbie slide off his underwear and in motions that slowly revealed even more chiseled skin, they slowly came off to show something pink and beautiful which Robbie only got a glimpse at before Sportacus’ hands were on the buttons of his disguises dress shirt.

“Robbie,” the hero breathed, “it’s your turn.”

Robbie flipped them over in a clumsy and too fast movement so that they could work to undo the mass amount of buttons his dress shirt contained. He was pulling off the suit jacket and Sportacus was unbuckling his belt when the villain leaned down to kiss him. His belt came off as Robbie drifted lower on the hero’s body and the hero would have probably fully undressed Robbie too if not for the fact that the villain was out of reach and spreading open the hero’s legs. 

There was a sharp intake of breath as Robbie kissed Sportacus’ vagina. And suddenly, the man under him was pudding.

Robbie had done this a few times before so he dug in with precision. He started just with his tongue, wrapping his appendage around the curves of the other man's anatomy before he applied his whole mouth to the task, trying to take in as much as he could.

He wasn't thinking much about what he was doing, he was more so focused on the occasional shaky breath or deep sound that’d resonate from sportacus when he did something new.

Sportacus rocked into him and Robbie looked up to see the disheveled mess that was the sports elf. He was red and glimmering with a bit of sweat and although he was beautiful, Robbie wanted to see just far he could push him so he used his thumb to trace Sportacus entrance. Prompted by another deep moan Robbie tentatively pushed in which caused Sportacus to cry out a needy version of his name.

He took that as permission and replaced his thumb with his finger, going deeper, as he continued tying knots with his tongue. Sportacus seemed to push him out, he was that tight, tight enough that it almost felt like he hadn't done this before but robbie persisted curling his long bony fingers in just the right ways to make Sportacus let out a string of gasps and moans that were garbled by… purring? Robbie made a mental note to check that out later

Eventually, Sportacus’ back arched and for a moment Robbie wondered if he had done it but then the man gasped his name in a tone that wasn’t pleasurable. Robbie looked up in surprise as Sportacus repeated “Robbie robbie I-I” ,he stuttered grabbing onto the other man’s pale shoulder with a shaky breathe.

“Hey it’s-” Robbie began to soothe, putting a hand comfortingly on sportacus's thigh as he pulled away but the elf only shook his head.

“No no i’m-youre… I just want, don’t want” Sportacus was breathing a bit too heavy still euphoric and therefor tongue tied but he took a deep breath and let it out in a slightly aggravated sounding sigh before opening his eyes, “Robbie I don’t want… I don’t want to do this alone?”

Robbie’s eyebrow arched up at the nervousness in Sportacus’ voice as he sat up a bit in between the other man’s legs. “You want me to…”

Sportacus nodded once his eyes closed as he did so before he opened them, “Please, Robbie.”

If he wasn’t a villain he might have hesitated but as it was, it was a miracle he holded off as long as he was. Robbie wasn’t usually this patient of a man but then again he wasn’t usually the type of man to do any of this but right now he didn’t think of that he simply worked his nimble fingers to undo the rest of his pants and to his surprise Sportacus joined in to rip them off.

His length was unveiled and Robbie sighed. He hadn’t realized the pressure that was on his dick until there wasn’t any, until it was free to swing out and brush against sportacus's lower stomach and rest just above his-

Sportacus seemed tense, as he looked down at Robbie’s cock. Was he afraid of it was he nervous did he think it was too-

Sportacus looked up and Robbie understood, with a swift cupping of his cheeks Robbie leaned in pressing their foreheads together in a swift act of intimacy he would cringe at later.

“No. You might not be shaped like me but then again you have abs and I don’t just because… just because”

Robbie trailed off suddenly conscious of how gushy he was being to someone he had considered an enemy only moments before (heck having sex with the man probably didn’t change that… hopefully) and Sportacus supplied the moment with a gentle kiss. Damn, for someone who was usually so talkative he knew how to be quiet. 

They pulled away from each other and although sportacus looked calmer he didnt move. Robbie let a moment pass before he opened his mouth but, Sportacus spoke before he could with averted eyes and a gentle tone, “Robbie I don't mean to freak you out but I just wanted you to know that… I haven’t done this before.”

Robbie swallowed that was heavy, “You what?”

Sportacus looked at him frantically, “I can understand if you want to stop but j-”

Robbie cut him off with an indignant snort, “Don’t be preposterous we are already this far.”

Now it was Robbie’s turn to shut Sportacus up with a gentle kiss as he leaned forward and pushed the hero down. Robbies hand went back down to Sportacus slick pussy as the hero fumbled with a button above his bed. Robbie watched as a bottle of lube and some condoms fell onto the bed next to them.

“Really” ,Robbie gave the hero an unimpressed look.

“It comes in handy…” ,the elf replied sheepishly

“Thats a lot coming from someone who-”

Sportacus made a shushing noise as he gave Robbie a condom and opened up the lube

The feeling of putting on the condom and slicking up with lube shouldn't have felt as good as it did but considering how ignored he had been even those small touches made his spine quiver.

Robbie leaned back down again but stopped himself.

“If you haven't done this before…”  Robbie spoke while leaning back up, “then maybe you should ride me? It might easier since you’re… new to this.”

Sportacus nodded and Robbie was on the bed a moment later with Sportacus on top, positioned so that he could take Robbie in at his own pace.

Sportacus then wrapped his hand around the base of Robbie’s cock and then lowered himself.

Robbie groaned his eyes fluttering closed as the feeling of Sportacus stretching around him flooded his senses. He tossed his head back, hands flying to grab onto Sportacus’s thighs as the hero made a small noise of his own and worked his way down Robbie’s shaft.

It was almost painfully tight and for a moment Robbie almost told Sportacus to stop but then he felt the hero bottom out on top of him. He gasped and forced his eyes open to look at how his partner was taking it. He saw the crinkle in the hero’s tightly shut eyes, the way his tongue was slightly sticking out and how flushed he was.

Sportacus was slow at first, he needed time to adjust and Robbie honestly did too considering their circumstances but, gods, the villain definitely wasn’t prepared for the way the hero moved when he had stretched himself out enough.

To put it simply, Robbie was pretty sure he wouldn’t complain about Sportacus being too fast again. Robbie rocked against Sportacus and the hero bared himself down on him with enough force that the bed started shaking. Somewhere along the line, the two had started occupying the free space in the ship with loud moans and overall they were both a mess of hastily trying to get each other offer and cursing each other’s names.

Sportacus was, surprisingly, the first to shake with euphoric release. It came suddenly and almost without warning. The only indication Robbie had was a desperate ‘R-robbie’ thrown into the air and then the elf was shaking violently, squeezing impossibly tight around him and practically collapsing onto the villain.

Robbie wrapped his arm’s around the hero’s back and kissed his forehead. After a small confirmation that everything was alright Robbie had mentally counted the day as a win even if Sportacus was still in town and even if Robbie would be trapped next to the elf that night, locked up in a steely grip being forced to  _ cuddle _ of all things.

Maybe the night hadn’t ended the way he had wanted but the way it had ended up was  _ much better.  _ Even though the next morning was filled with more questions then answers, he couldn’t deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP it's one am and this is the first time i've written porn in years so sorry if it's not satisfying. I'm personally not happy with it but I don't plan on editing it, simply adding a sort of epilogue that'll open up this verse to the second installation of the series (if I ever get around to it).  
> Anyways, thanks for reading hopefully you could atleast laugh at the disguise reveal (and at how poorly written this is lol).


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